Goin Solo!!

Finally the time has come where I am trying to put together a little report of the swim. I thought if I waited a bit, it would sink in, and I would be better prepared to write.....it hasn't yet, and don't think it will for a long time.......so here goes anyway!!

It is nearly two weeks now that I had a missed call on my phone from my pilot. We ended up having a conversation late on the Friday night and he told me I could possibly 'go' 2am Sunday morning! It would meaning doing last bits of packing the next morning and heading to Dover straight away. I literally had a chat with my crew early the next morning and we were off! There is no point in dithering about not having enought time to prepare! You are given a good tidal/weather opportunity, and you have to take it, or I could still be waiting now! Matt and I arrived in Dover late afternoon on the Saturday and Dave and Sambo followed that evening!  I wanted to have a look at the water when we got there - it looked lovely from afar! It was clear, you could see France in the distance! We booked into our caravan at Varne Ridge, chatted to a few swimmers, and I did last minute sorting of boxes for the boat, food bits and made up all my energy drinks. We had a group chat and went over the feeds and timings etc. It's good though, once all together the usual banter begins and I like that, it keeps you relaxed and is the environment we are all used to! All my crew are experienced and know me well. We all swim train together. Dave succeeded in crossing the Channel just 3 weeks before (Sambo and I crewed for him), Samdo did a Channel relay last year and Matt knows me well and has obviously been with me at most of my big races and training week ends. So, I felt like I had the 'Dream Team' crew!

I had about a 3 hour 'rest'! Went to bed about 10pm ish, with a little bit of a churny tummy! It is so real now. I could see Dave was so glad it wasn't him again! Up at 1am! I covered myself in suncream, had porridge, we packed the car up with the final bits and all made sure we had our own kit. The crew need more clothing than I do! You never know how the weather can change! We drove off down to the Marina and met Eric my pilot and his helper Gary and John the official CSA observer. All nice guys. I was feeling nervous, yet ok at this point. I knew what I had to do, and had a good idea what was ahead of me. I had never once kidded myself this was going to be pleasant or easy. I knew I was going to suffer and it was going to be a tough day. I was as ready for it as I could be. I now just had to go through all the emotions and feelings I had trained myself for in one go - and yes, ultimately get to the other side!! I had obviously touched down for our Relay last year and with Dave just 3 weeks ago. My turn now, solo! Just one little prayer to the Channel Gods, to be on my side.......just a little! The boys checked all the boxes and kit were on board, and I got my hat, goggles, night lights and grease out! We motored out of the harbour and around to Shakespeare Beach. Dave and Matt were plastic gloved up and applying the grease! (I didn't do it, if it gets on my goggles - not helpful!) A lot on the neck, strap, underarm and rubby areas. (In hindsight they did a grand job, I didn't get one bit of rubbage, which I have done in the past!) The boat settled about 100 metres from shore. It was high tide. I had my hugs and quick good byes to the boys, and at 2.36am in the darkness I jumped off the side of Pathfinder the boat, into the sea. It was calm, peaceful and dark! The boys said they could see the green flashing lights (one on my swim cap and one attatched to the back of my costume). I swam to shore. You have to clear the lapping water, arms aloft, they hoot the horn and then you can go! I adjusted my goggles, took a couple of deep breaths and waded straight in.

The water was a pleasant temperature at 16.8 degrees. So used to this by now. I like night swimming. It is calming and I quickly got into a relaxed stroke. The water was fairly still. I knew I had a good 3 hours in darkness, I used the bright light on the boat to guide me. It was to the right side of me, as I predominatly breathe to the right. I was being fed on the hour for 4 hours. So this is what I did. Swam, fed (Maxim with summer fruits juice and warm water), swam, fed, swam, fed, swam fed. I was feeling great and according to the boys 'flying along'. I know in 2 hours I had covered 4 and a half miles! To be honest the first 5-6 hours are a bit of a blur. I was in my 'channel pace' zone and time does fly by when you have trained to keep swimming at this pace. I sort of go into a little 'fuzz', as explained before! It's great to see the boys on the side of the boat, and they helped the time go by. Every feed they shouted encouragement or shouted out messages from people following me. To this day I am stil in awe with how many people were actually following, wanting updates and sending messages throughout the swim! I was also party to receiving many messages and pictures on a white board! Some funny, some encourageing and of course.....a few rude ones!! They made me smile.....that was until about 7 hours when I could slowly feel my sense of humour fading, as my sore right shoulder was kicking in! I was aware of it getting lighter and that there was a beautiful sunrise. I didn't realise again until after, hw amazing it actually was - you must see the photos! So, I had a pretty calm and pleasant 6 hours swimming from dark to light. As it was getting lighter I was also aware I was in the English shipping lane, as there were BIG boats in the distance, and at a couple of points also very close!! It is the pilot (who we pay good money to), that directs us across the shipping lanes and keeps us safe. He also chooses the course to take depending on my swim speed, the sea conditions, tides, wind etc, to try and get me there via the shortest possible route. Yes please!

I was pleased with how slick the boys were with my feeds. The bucket on a pole, to put my water bottles in, worked a treat. Having the bottle attatched to thin rope, then to a carabina and onto a masons reel was great too. I could throw the bottle after feeding, continue to swim and the boys could reel it in after! All time saving. I made a concious effort to drink lots - the boys were amazed at how much I did consume each time. I did need the toilet alot, but I think this really helped me, and kept me hydrated. I never felt too bad with energy depletion and my stomach behaved too! I didnt have much sickness, so I'm glad I got used to the Maxim/squash combination! Some of my later feeds, I had Ambrosia rice pudding too - straight out of the pot! Again not glamorous, I would shovel it out with my fingers and into my mouth, while treading water. It is a technique I've practised lots by now, so it worked well too. I still get it all around my mouth though! It fuelled me and didn't come back to feed the fish! It's true what they say - keep using what works for you. I had a few jelly babies on the odd occasion too. After 4 hours my feeds reduced to every 45 minutes. I was so lucky I didn't have the stomach cramps, sickness or projectile vomit, that is so often common in Channel swimmers - I had prepared myself for it though!

However, I got the excrutiatingly painful shoulder instead! :-( I was aware of it from about 5 and half hours. It lingered and then got worse and worse, just as the water started to get choppier and the wind picked up! Great! In past swims I have felt the shoulder, but it is not consistent with presenting itself! I remember it in my first Torbay swim and also Lake Windermere. But in these swims I only had about an hour to swim like it. Here, in my head , I knew I had this for a good 8 hours. I knew it wouldn't go away. So, this is where the head kicks in. I wasn't stopping - I'm sure at that point some would have, when realising the enorminty of the task still ahead. I asked for a painkiller and anti inflam at my next feed (they were prepared in a bag in one of my boxes!) Matt said he knew I must have been struggling at that point to ask! In my head I tried to block out the pinch pain every time I put my arm over to take a stroke. I knew it would eventually affect the strength of my pull with that arm, but carried on! I said to the boys I was going to really need their support now. I was feeling it. I cannot describe the comfort of having them on the side of the boat. Every breath to see someone there with you watching and supporting is so helpful. I even noticed when Matt went off for a few minutes more to the toilet!! I asked for Dave (my support swimmer) to come in at about 7 hours I think it was. I saved it up, as I needed him then. I could have him 4 times for 1 hour if I wanted. So in my head I rememeber thinking, 'ok, do an hour with Dave, then an hour without him'......if I could keep going like that one hour at a time, it would break the swim down into smaller manageable parts. I knew my body was going by then ie. the pain was horrid, but I also know me and my head, and that I would keep going whatever!! It is again a comfort to have someone swim next to you. I did the same for Dave and I knew, he knew he was helping me!! The problem we had now, was that I was tired, my shoulder was gone and the water was getting rougher. It just changed in an instant! I could feel the wind had picked up and it made such a difference to the lovely calm water I had previously. Matt said it was like two different swims! It felt like it! Dave said he wasnt overly keen to keep getting back in to it, but knew I had done it with him! By now it was a good Force 3-4 apparently. The boat was trying to shield me, but I was still getting enveloped in the swell and wash off the boat. A few mouthfuls of saltwater too, if a mis timed breath coincided with a wave! I think on Dave's third swim with me, he copped it and was sick, I could hear him vomiting behind me!! What a struggle it was trying to move through that water. Tired, sore and being thrown around all over the place. It's a vulnerable place to be, especially when your legs and arms are being taken away from you in the rougher waters, and the stroke is all over the place!

I had said to the boys on my earlier feed, I knew I was blessed with how calm it was. I also knew in my head it would pick up in the shipping lanes. That was fine, I was prepared for that! However, it picked up more than anticipated - Eric said he would never start a swim in those conditions! I think he knew I would keep going though - the boys told him I wouldn't give up easily!! Too right - I was in bits, but I wasn't stopping. It didn't enter my head to stop. I know I would have to be told to get out or be dragged out for safety reasons. If I knew I was still making forward progress, I was going to keep chipping away. I also knew the quicker I got there the quicker I could rest my poor shoulder! The rougher conditions had slowed my swim a fair bit, and although I could have been on for a good 12 hour ish swim, they knew it would now be longer, especially as the tide would turn too and take me past the Cap (the shortest landing point) and along past the beaches towards Calais! I was struggling now. They didn't tell me two boats had turned back. Although they knew I would keep going, alot depended on my strength over the next hour to push across the strong lateral tidal flow. The difference of forward progression across the tide can add not minutes to you swim, but HOURS! I think it was the only point the boys said they had an inkling of a worry. I had to get across it, so I wasn't swept sideways. We were all to familiar with this, as that was exactly what had happened to Dave last year on his first attempt, and he had to abort at 16 hours 38 mins, as he was just not going to land it :-( (Happier note, he did it this year!). To add to this, I had asked for my feeds to be shortened to every 30 mins now. Not that I think I really needed the fuel. I just needed to focus on something sooner. The water was taking it's toll. I could see the cliffs (even though we are advised not to look frequently!) You are still not convinced they are getting any closer! The boys shouted at me on my 30 min feeds that they must be so brief, I had to keep swimming hard! I knew deep down what this meant - having delivered exactly the same speech to Dave. They couldn't hide it from me. I knew I had to respond. It was crucial I tried to dig in a little more to push across the tide. I responded. Matt said it was one of the hardest moments for him, to have to shout at me to push harder, when he could see I was pretty broken and so tired! At the next feed, they asked the same again! I know I dug deeper. I remember trying to pull harder with my bad side. The pain was unbearable, but I was getting closer, so I pulled harder!

I remember the second half of the swim better than the first. People have asked what I would think about. I went through in my head every person I knew from family, friends, training partners and who knew I was doing this and what it would mean to them if I did it etc etc. Anything to keep my mind off the pain. I had visualised sections of the swim so many tinmes in my head, and here I was in this last torrid bit, so close, yet still so far! It was make or break time, but I WAS going to get there. I could hear in my ear the boys shouting. Sambo's tones of 'pull' 'pull' - exactly what I had been saying to Dave 3 weeks previously. He had got to this point in the dark. I kept trying to make positives out of the situation. 'At least you are here in the light, you are making forward progress (many wouldn't have been at this point), you can land this in the  light, come on, come on'. I also knew exactly what sort of a red line this part of the swim was drawing across my swim course map right now, and I just wanted it end it sooner, to have a shorter red line - all the swimmers will know what I mean! Finally I could see the cliffs were bigger! I knew we had missed the Cap, and hence why I was still swimming, but every now and then I thougth I saw a glimpse of sand. This was only when I was on the top of a wave! But you never know if your mind is playing tricks on you! I knew when I could see sand or the beach, I was going to make it! I remember in Daves swim, the cliffs were a black line and then we suddenly saw white! The foam of the lapping waves and the sand! All these thoughts going through my head, all the while, swimming, swimming, swimming!

I turned to breathe and saw Dave had his trunks on. This lifted me, as I knew I must be close. I knew he would want to swim to shore with me. I had done it with him! I really wanted that company! I kept pulling and yes, the last bit seemend to take FOREVER! Dave was in, yes!! I must be less that half a mile now!!  He was making his seal noises, I knew he was so pleased, he knew I was going to make it too! He also had a waterproof camera at this point! It must have looked so funny, he was half swimming, half treading water taking pictures with one arm in the air!  I could see the beach, there were people on it!! I turned to breathe again, Matt and Sambo were both stood on the boat in their speedos!! Yes! Eric was going to let them swim in with me too! How they wangled that I will never know (apparently Matt said he asked and Eric said yes eventually after being persuaded they could swim ok. It was pretty swelly out there, and he said  yes as they were nice people?!!.....) Dave gave me what I thought was a 'high five' - I was too tired to respond and hit his hand back! I've since realised it was 500 metres to go!! :-) I then got 400m, then 300m, then 200m. Yay! I heard a splash, the boys were in! The boat had to stay back, and Gary had launched the little RIB to follow us in. What a spectacle to the people on the beach! I got to the shallows, could see the sand and heard Dave shouting at me to stand up, I swam a few more strokes, felt pebbles and drew my feet in. I took this bit slowly. You can be very wobbly at this stage. I was a bit, but suprisingly ok! I didn't fall over or get cramp, just waddled out on to dry sand. Hands aloft, wave to the boat, so they can get a time on my landing. Approximately 4.45pm on the Sunday afternoon. I had made it! In 14 hours and 8 minutes on Sangatte beach! I promptly had a big hug from Dave - 'you've done it, you've done it! I didnt feel elation - just relief! Followed by a massive hug from Matt (how fab to see him there) and then Sambo too! Yes! I landed with my Dream Team - cliched, but couldn't have done it with out them! They were fantasic! I had the usual banter. Swollen face and lips from the salt, they wondered if I'd had botox etc etc! I remember saying that was horrendous and never again! The audience we now had were taking pictures and asking questions. The boys said they knew I was ok, as I was blabbering on in French to them! I remember, I was! Dave also got them to take pictures with the waterproof camera. Can't wait to see them! I took some pebbles as memories and to give to the family! We then decided to swim back to the little Rib. They don't like to hang around too lon in swelly waters. So, no, no duty free shopping! I went to swim front crawl and realised I couldn't lift my arm - buggered. Breastroke it would have to be! I then got towed by the rib across to Pathfinder. Helped up the steps, my poor shoulder was complaining! Matt was back on board already and had all  my warm kit to hand. He helped me get dry and warm clothes on. I didn't really shiver or feel cold. I knew my throat was sore though. No other feelings at this point really,  but lots of well dones from the crew once back on the boat!

All our kit had to be packed up and tied down Apparently the trip back was going to be long and bumpy! They couldn't go any quicker than 6 knots now there was a 2 plus metre swell (I know, I was swimming in it!) It was a uncomfortable 3 hours back from about 5.30-8.30pm. I had a drink to soothe my throat, and promptly threw it back up! Dave and I were sharing the bucket, and even Matt and Sambo who dont really suffer sea sickness, wished they hadn't gone down below to the toilet. That starts the stomach churning off! We were all so tired and relieved and couldn't wait to get back to the warmth and comfort of the cosy Varne Ridge caravan! The swim was tough, the journey back was not pleasant either! What a day! After thanks to the crew, we quickly disembarkead and took the kit back to the car so we could get to the caravan. Eric gave me my course print out. I was pretty useless at carrying anything at this point! It was over! Done!

Once back at Varne Ridge, David and Evelyn were there to greet us. I had big hugs again and a massive banner on the caravan 'Congratulations on Swimming the Channel'! I was aware there was one lady still out there who I had met previously. Later after a shower. (Hard to wash hair and dress with one arm!) I found our she had battled on too, to complete in 16 hours 38 minutes. She had got a Canadian record! I was feeling for her as it was horrid in there and she had landed in the dark near Calais! We had a chill out that evening and chat. I couldn't really sleep that night, with a buzzing mind and shoulder pain. Even the next day, after a big cooked breakfast and signing the wall (tradition for Channel swimmers) at the White Horse pub in Dover, I was still in a bit of a fuzz. It doesn't seem real. It was, I clearly had a red swim cap mark and white goggle marks! It has been nearly two weeks now and it's still sinking in. I can't believe it's done! A massive part of my life was dedicated to this. So much time, committment and focus. I needed to do every single bit of prep I did. I don't feel ecstatic, just relief still. But I'm sure I will be chuffed at some point! Everyone else around me is more pleased and proud! Thanks so much for all the messgaes, congratulations and support. I am in awe of how many people were behind me during this challenge and in the build up. Also for the donations. Please please keep them coming! I did my bit for a whole 14 hours and 8 painful minutes, please do yours!!

I will post again soon when I am feeling a bit more human, and my shoulder settles, with some post Channel thoughts. A HUGE thank you again. Kim :-)